In Defense of Navel-Gazing

"Let’s think about this path that we’re taking,
Let’s think about this future we’re creating,
Let’s think about this life that is fading,
Think about it, come on think about it now
Let’s think about this time that we’re spending
Investing in monetary things that are ending,
Let’s think about it, and
let’s think together,
And let’s think about what we can do to make it better."

--John Reuben, "Nuisance"

I am a person who compulsively asks, "Why?" It started in school, when I didn't understand why I was learning what I was learning. Why, for example, did I have to learn calculus? What bearing could such abstract math possibly have on my life and in my future? Turns out, I was right to question the usefulness of calculus in my English-loving-brain, but that is beside the point. The point is, I simply have an incredibly hard time doing anything when I don't know why I'm doing it. And so, when I find my day full of the stress of keeping the house clean, doing laundry, and making and cleaning up after meals, I have to ask why. When I spend hours budgeting, clipping coupons, meticulously planning meals and grocery lists, and executing Navy-Seal-level shopping missions, I have to ask why. When I spend much of my day in conversation and play with two toddlers, I have to ask why.

On the surface, the answer to those things is obvious. My house has to be clean to be functional; we like to save money; and I love my kids. But on a deeper level, I feel compelled to explore those things, and to explore deeper things like love and death and God and politics because I want to live a meaningful life. Socrates put this idea in stark terms when he declared that, "The unexamined life is not worth living." I don't know that I would go that far, but I do know that I want to have a full existence. And I'm finding more and more that living "life to the full" is more than what you do; it also has a lot to do with what you think about what you do. Laundry, for example, can be monotonous drudgery, or it can be an opportunity to participate in the divine nature by dying to my own wants and needs. Cleaning the house can be an exercise in futile perfectionism, or it can be an act of worship and gratitude to God for the blessings He has given me. Taking care of my kids can be merely an instinctive obligation, or it can be a purposeful act of molding young hearts and pouring love into them.

The difference between the pointless option and the meaningful option is thought. When I think about what I do, when I ponder and explore the things I see and do, I start to live with purpose.

I am so excited about the opportunity to share thoughts and to receive thoughts from my sisters. I hope and believe that this blog can be a place where we think together about this life that is fading, and where we think about what we can do to make things better.